She carried four babies for other families. Then she needed IVF to have her own.

Shoshannah Roberts never expected surrogacy to become such a significant part of her life.

Her first introduction came from pop culture. She remembers watching Friends, seeing Phoebe carry a baby for her brother, and wondering, “Wait, that’s a real thing someone can do?”

Years later, after having children of her own and discovering how much she loved being pregnant, the idea stayed with her. She realized she could help someone else become a parent in a way they could not on their own. Four journeys followed, each with different intended parents, different circumstances, different relationships.

Then came the part she did not plan for.

“Finding out that I needed IVF to complete my family after being able to carry for four families who needed surrogacy to build their families was a plot twist I didn’t see coming. I went into IVF with the confidence that I could get pregnant and have a healthy baby — which is a blessing I don’t take for granted — but we had different odds stacked against us with male factor infertility, and I was 38 years old so I didn’t really know what my egg quality would be. To put it simply, I didn’t have rose-tinted glasses having worked in this field for so many years and knowing the severity of our challenges, but I had hope because I had witnessed miracles before.

Going through IVF myself was emotional in a way I couldn’t have predicted. The financial burden was on our family, and even if I did everything right the outcome was out of my hands. I had to place immense trust in our IVF clinic and their lab. I didn’t realize how nerve-wracking it was to create embryos, and how delicate of a process it could be. Our first retrieval we got one embryo of a lower grade, and that’s when reality really set in. We grappled with the decision to do a second retrieval and ultimately decided, after considering my age, to take that path. I’m so glad we did, because it yielded three more embryos of higher quality, and we’re happily pregnant from the first transfer of our best embryo.

I still worry every single day of pregnancy for the day our baby is safely delivered — and I’m the one carrying! Looking back on it, I am in awe of how calm my intended parents were when they couldn’t be with their baby every day of pregnancy. I have a much deeper appreciation of the grace they had throughout our journeys together and the trust they placed in me, as I juggle my own worries for the future of our baby now.”

That last line is the thread running through everything else she has to say.

Surrogacy starts with trust

For Shoshannah, the heart of surrogacy has always been the relationship between a gestational carrier and intended parents.

“I realized very early in my surrogacy journey that I was being entrusted by the intended parents with the most important nine months of their child’s life and, in turn, I was trusting them with their child for a lifetime.”

That trust does not happen automatically. It is built through honest conversations, clear expectations, and communication that starts before the match and continues long after the birth.

It is also protected by structure. Across her four journeys Shoshannah had independent legal representation, completed psychological screening, and had support available throughout each pregnancy. Those safeguards are not paperwork. They are what made it possible for her to understand the process fully and to choose it freely, every time. When informed consent, independent representation, proper screening, and real support are all in place, the process stops feeling like a transaction and starts feeling like a partnership.

What that partnership looks like varies. Some intended parents and surrogates or gestational carriers become very close. Others keep things more structured, and both are fine. What matters is that everyone says out loud what they want before they begin.

“Now that’s what I call full service”

One of Shoshannah’s journeys was for a husband and wife in Australia, first-time parents, with an intended dad who was nervous the whole pregnancy. Neither of them expected her to go into labor at 38 weeks.

“When my water broke at midnight at 38 weeks of pregnancy, the intended mom had only just landed in California that day, and the intended dad was on his flight, because no one expected I would go into labor this early. I’m happy to share they both arrived in plenty of time for the birth still and got to be a part of that experience, and the memory of them holding their baby boy for the first time doing skin-to-skin and how they beamed with joy is engraved in my mind.

But the story didn’t stop there, because they had just made a major time zone change, and once the adrenaline from the birth wore off they were terribly jetlagged and could hardly keep their eyes open. When the founder of Hatch, Shelley Smith, arrived to visit us all post-birth to congratulate everyone, what she found was the poor mom asleep on the couch in my hospital room, the dad had left the hospital to scramble to set up their rental property for their baby, and I was sitting up in my hospital bed feeding their baby while pumping. She jokingly said, ‘Now that’s what I call full service!’ and we had a good laugh about it.

The parents were so grateful for the help. We made an amazing team those few days at the hospital, and I stayed a day after I was discharged to help them with their baby while he was treated for jaundice. The mom and I took alternating shifts holding their baby boy under the bili lights wearing sunglasses because he wouldn’t settle in the bassinet. It’s not every day that a surrogate becomes a part of the infant care team in the hospital, but I wouldn’t trade the experience.”

That is what the word “relationship” actually means in this work. Not a term in a contract. Two exhausted parents, a jaundiced newborn, and a surrogate taking the next shift.

The hardest thing

Her second journey was twins, carried for two intended dads who already had a two-year-old through surrogacy. At 15 weeks, they lost one of them.

“The hardest thing I experienced as a surrogate was second trimester pregnancy loss. I never thought it would happen to me until it did, and it was shocking, heartbreaking, and humbling. At 15 weeks of pregnancy we got the devastating news that one twin didn’t have a heartbeat. I grieved with the intended parents and we got through it together, and every week from that moment on we held our breath for their surviving twin and did our best to stay optimistic.

Every day that passed was a victory, and on the day of the birth both dads were so ready for it. One of the dads was in the action, holding my leg as I pushed! The moment their son was out and let out his first cry, he placed him on me, wrapped his arms around both of us, and we all just broke down sobbing together with tears of joy and relief that we had gotten him earthside safely.

Nothing prepares you for pregnancy loss, but I made sense out of my grief by seeing the journey through to the very end, and by supporting others who have experienced loss. I never walked alone even in my hardest moments, and I take pride in making sure others have that same support.”

This is the part of surrogacy that rarely makes it into the brochure, and it is the reason the rest of what she says is worth listening to. She is not describing a highlight reel.

“Being a surrogate felt like having super powers. I’ve always said if I could have one super power it would be the power to heal, and this is as close as I can get to that. I got to help people heal from their fertility challenges. I’ve carried for families who have struggled to get pregnant for many years, who have experienced multiple pregnancy losses, who have gone through countless IVF cycles themselves. I watched them heal when they held their babies for the first time. It’s magical!”

What she wants intended parents to ask

IVF and reproductive medicine make gestational surrogacy possible, but Shoshannah says it is easy to lose sight of the people behind the medical process. Screening, evaluations, transfers, monitoring, appointments, decisions, waiting: all of it is happening to real people on both sides at once. The medical care matters enormously. So does everything around it.

Cost is usually the first question, and she believes transparency there is non-negotiable. Clear agreements, structured compensation, independent escrow, and protections for the carrier and her family, including medical coverage and life insurance, should all be explained at the start rather than discovered along the way. The clearer those details are early, the more everyone can focus on the experience itself.

Matching deserves the same honesty. Every one of her journeys began with a match, and no two were alike. Some parents want frequent contact and involvement. Others want more space. Some relationships last for years after the birth, and others naturally fade. There is no correct version. There is only the version both sides agreed to out loud.

So for anyone just starting out and feeling overwhelmed, which she says is completely normal, her advice is simple: ask questions. Ask how a program protects surrogate or gestational carriers and intended parents. Ask about medical and psychological support. Ask how matching works, how the money is handled, and what legal protections are in place.

“Surrogacy takes a village, and I felt so honored to be a part of this village for my own intended parents, and also for other intended parents and surrogates.”

Why this grant matters to her

Hatch is sponsoring a fully funded surrogacy journey in partnership with The Surrogacy Foundation, the first agency-sponsored grant in our history. Here is what that meant to someone who has carried four times.

“As a passionate advocate for surrogacy as a necessary and beautiful path to parenthood, and reproductive freedom, I have held steadfast to the belief that ethical surrogacy should be accessible and inclusive. When I first learned that Hatch was sponsoring a fully-paid surrogacy journey in partnership with The Surrogacy Foundation I couldn’t even begin to contain my excitement. It was a literal dream come true!

Our founder, Shelley Smith, moved mountains to make surrogacy possible for so many families, and I feel a deep sense of pride being a part of Hatch and carrying on her mission. I can’t think of a more beautiful legacy than to help a family pursue surrogacy who otherwise could not. Behind the scenes at Hatch we’re experienced surrogates and intended parents. This mission is deeply personal to each of us. All of us Hatchlings over here are so excited to cheer on the first family to receive this grant and be a part of their journey to parenthood.”

Surrogacy is not simply a medical process. It is a relationship between people who come together around one of the most meaningful things a person can do for another person.

“Surrogacy, when done responsibly, is a powerful expression of generosity, partnership and hope.”

Every journey begins with the desire to build a family. The right support is what makes that possible, for the family and for everyone who helps them get there.